The term holding space may be new for you. It’s a capacity that extremely useful in many contexts as this time of disruption and change has created high levels of stress and anxiety.

What is Holding Space? It’s a Relationship

Holding space, in essence, is a way of being in relationship with a group or individual. Your role in the relationship, as the space holder, is to intentionally form an energetic “container” in which certain experiences can be had. Each person in the space brings in their own energy and presence, however if one person or more has the intention to hold space for the others, then the energy and presence of that person(s) will influence the experience for all others in the space. 

In other words, if your intention is to hold space for others so that they can have some kind of experience in that space, and you have a strong intention for how the space is to be formed and held, then your presence and energy gives shape to a container for others, and a unique type of relationship is formed between you and those you are holding space for.

Think of a held space as an intentionally created energetic container or “cocoon” in which those people holding that intention are generating an energetic signature powerful enough to from and infuse that space. 

What is the Intention of a Held Space?

The intention for the held space matters. A held space is formed when the person holding the space has the intention and desire to be a companion for others, to companion them through whatever experience they are having or need to have. The intention of a held space is not to help the person fix their problems or resolve their issues — it’s to simply form a companionship relationship, where you create a space in which they can attend to whatever is arising for themselves that is in need of attention without anything “needing” to happen. 

A held space can then be a healing space, a loving space, a compassionate space, a nurturing space, a peaceful space, a space of potentiality, a creative space, a learning space…whatever the intention is of those who are holding space as they relate to those they are holding space for. 

What a held space is not is a directed space, where your agenda or your needs or your ‘wants’ for yourself or other people come into it. If your agenda is anything other than the intention to hold space in a loving, compassionate, open-minded, accepting, allowing way, then you are no longer holding space.

A held space is responsive to the needs of those in the space. This is where the space holder becomes discerning of those needs and energetically aligns to them. For example, if the person for whom space is being held is grieving for a loss of a loved one, then it helps that the space holder recognize this and align the energy they are holding to match the need of those in grief—which may be to have a place in which they can openly express their pain and sorrow and not be judged for it or asked to close it down.

This is the art of discernment that space holders must learn.

What does it take to hold space effectively?

A held space feels spacious. It feels like a place in which any thing can happen and all is allowed. It is a place that is free of judgment because space does not judge, it simply holds all within it. The space has no need for anything to happen, and yet there is the recognition that in the space anything can happen. And whatever happens is trusted — for whatever reason, that is what needed to happen. 

To be an effective space holder you will have to cultivate the quality of spaciousness. You will have to be allowing so that people can be as they are with you, warts and all. You have to be open-minded and open-hearted, so that people feel safe with you. You have to be trusting, so that you do not shut down what wants or needs to happen, whether it’s pretty or not, whether you understand it or not. 

You have learn to release your agenda, because your agenda, while it may come from care, is ineffective for a space holder. Agendas get in the way, because they are born of your wants and needs, not of what the others are necessarily needing or asking for. 

What does it mean to hold space?

Now we are talking about holding space for a specific type of need or experience: transformative change. In transformation, which is an actual process of evolutionary growth, the limiting ego-base self-concept (who I have been taught and therefore believe I am) which has long held sway in the mind as the dominant form of self-identity is now being questioned, and its falsities and distortions coming to light. People start asking themselves: Who am I? Is who I have believed myself to be who I really am?Is what I’ve been taught about myself and life really true? What do I really value? Am I living those values? In transformation, all that is not reflective of the ‘I’ at the core of our being, the True Self, is slowly being stripped away so that a more authentic, truthful self-concept (Who I Am) can emerge. True transformation is a healing journey.

A space held for healing therefore has a clear intent: to elevate levels of consciousness so that those in the space are able to better sense the greater reality within themselves, because that reality is of a higher consciousness. And since each level of consciousness has its own inherent reality, when consciousness shifts new realities and paradigms of possibility becomes perceptible. It becomes possible to perceive what was imperceptible from another level of consciousness. 

So when you hold a space in which consciousness shifts towards more enlightened states of mind and being, people begin to experience themselves anew. Layers of the old ego-based self-concept naturally arise and then move to dissolve and release. People heal in such spaces. And as people heal, they begin to connect with a greater reality—they begin to remember and recognize the truth of their being. They begin to know themselves as they are, beyond the veils of the ego-mind and ego-thought. Their experience of themselves becomes altogether more real and true. 

What does it take to be the one who is capable of holding a space in which its frequency invites people to experience themselves in a whole new way? 

The principles of holding space remain—you need to become ‘the presence that transforms.’ Your own energetic signature, your own level of consciousness, is the key. 

If you come into a space tired, down, angry, doubting, judging, negative, skeptical, unsure…then the space you held will be woven of those qualities. The space you hold will have very little impact on the prevailing consciousness because those qualities of mind are “normal” and what people carry with themselves every day. If you are also carrying those same qualities of mind then the frequency of the held space will not invite transformative awareness and growth. 

The most powerful space you can hold is woven of the consciousness of Love. It is one in which you, the space holder are a “loving presence.” People heal in the presence of love, naturally and organically, when they open themselves to what love has to offer. Love has no need for people to be a certain way, no need for a certain outcome, no desire to be recognized as ‘great’ or ‘valuable’ or ‘effective’. Love simply is, and in its is-ness all is possible. 

Transformation is a Healing Journey

It’s one in which we come to recognize more of the truth of who we are, a recognition of our essential reality. because transformation strips away all that is not reflective of the “I’ at the core of our being. 

A space held for transformation then invites all who enter to partake of this journey of remembrance, and then to witness what happens when they do. Lives change, they reorient, they revalue, they redirect, they shift onto new paths that reflect what is now known to be true. When you hold space for transformation, you are holding space for the highest potentials of life to flourish. No greater gift can you give another person or our world!

If you are ready to learn this art, this way of being in the world that is so impactful, we invite you to join our Holding Space course. It will help identify and clear the blocks that currently stand in your way of being the presence that transforms.