Addictions come in so many forms, from the relatively benign and socially acceptable to the outright destructive. Chances are that you have at least one addiction, possibly more. This presents a unique dilemma for coaching, because the reality is our clients will have addictions, just like you and I do, and they may seek help with those addictions from you. Should you be coaching addictions?

Addictions are Disorders

Coaches often hesitate to coach people with admitted addictions because at one time we were taught that “coaching doesn’t go there.” Addictions are viewed as a type of disorder, and coaches aren’t trained to work with disorders. The flip side of that argument is that coaches do work with people who are attempting to live a better life (if not their best life), and addictions in any form impair health, diminish quality of life, and create an underlying current of stress. Clients who really desire to grow and live vibrantly will at some point put their addictions on the coaching table–particularly those that are socially acceptable.

From my perspective, it’s not a question of whether you should coach people with addictions, because most everyone has them these days. It’s a question of what your role is when a client tells you they have an addiction and want your help to break it.

Coaching Addictions – the Coach’s Role

I recently had a client who shared with me his addiction to pornography, and how it was affecting his marriage and intimacy with his wife. Initially he came for coaching not to deal with the addiction but to make significant change to his life, to various behavioral habits and patterns, and to live far more authentically and in integrity. His addiction to porn just surfaced one day during a session.

It’s easy to say, “Sorry, I don’t do that work, you’ll have to look elsewhere for help with that,” and then wipe my hands of it. But in practice, when a client seeks to make change in multiple directions and an addiction surfaces when their life is illuminated, it’s not so simple. There is a role for the coach.

That coach’s role in coaching addictions is to help the person find the inner motivation and will to break it and grow beyond it. This is the most challenging aspect of addiction recovery. Providing the encouragement and inspiration that motivates a person to get appropriate treatment, to stay committed on the long road of recovery, or to seek help whenever the winds of temptation blow, that is the coach’s primary role.

Never Underestimate the Power of Non-Judgement

A second, and perhaps equally important role, is to provide an absolutely non-judgmental space in which a person can openly express their addiction and the emotional turbulence that goes along with it — the inevitable shame, guilt and fear that accompanies addiction and recovery efforts. It may just be that through sharing the addiction with you, and feeling safe and secure in doing so, they have received the exact motivator they need to examine it further, or to step out and find greater support for it.

Never under-estimate the power of a non-judgmental, safe, compassionate coaching space. It has the power to heal and inspire people into actions they may never have thought possible.

Set Clear Boundaries

Remember, you always have the right to say to your client, “This is what I’m willing and able to do with you in relation to your addiction, and this is what I’m not.”

Be clear for yourself on what those boundaries are, and share them openly and honestly with your client. Your relationship will be better for it, and you will have stayed within the role of a coach.